I’m incredibly fortunate. My husband, Senator Vincent Hughes, represents Philadelphia’s seventh senatorial district, but we’ve always been intentional about maintaining our independence. He has his life, and I have mine. He has his career, and I have mine. We both stand in our own light, and neither of us gets in the other’s way.
What’s really unique about our marriage is that we’ve been living separately for almost two decades. Yep, you read that right—we’re married but don’t live together. Can you imagine?
“When I go to see him, I’m so happy to see him,” I’ve said. “And when it’s time to leave, I’m happy to leave because I know I’ll see him again soon. Life is good. It’s perfect. I get to be a really good wife.”
Naturally, people have a lot to say about this. Some think it’s the best thing ever, while others assume it’s some sort of open marriage or just a formal arrangement. But that’s not how we see it at all.
Let me give you a little backstory. I met Vincent back in 2003 while I was starring in Thoroughly Modern Millie on Broadway. We fell in love fast and tied the knot in 2005 at the First African Methodist Episcopal Church in Los Angeles. At the time, I was living in L.A., and he was based in Philadelphia. Neither of us wanted to uproot our lives or careers, so we made a decision: we’d get married but continue living separately.
And honestly? It works.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” I’ve often said. “I see him every two weeks, and it keeps everything fresh.”
Recently, this arrangement has raised a few eyebrows. After I told Extra that I see my husband every two weeks and enjoy both arriving and leaving, fans speculated that we must’ve finally moved in together after 18 years. But nope! I had to clear that up real quick:
“It’s not true. We’ve been married 18 years and together for 21. We live together on and off—he’s in Philly for his work, and I’m in L.A. shooting Abbott Elementary. We see each other when we can, and that’s what works for us.”
When people ask how we make it work, I like to point out Dolly Parton. She’s been married for over 50 years, and no one ever sees her husband. Why? Because they’ve figured out what works for them. That’s our goal too—staying married and happy.
Our marriage might not look like everyone else’s, but it’s built on trust, respect, and love. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Cheryl Lee Ralph recently shared insights into her life, including her weight loss journey, her thoughts on the entertainment industry’s beauty standards, and the unique dynamics of her marriage to Senator Vincent Hughes of Pennsylvania’s Seventh Senatorial District.
The detail that grabbed the most attention was her revelation that she and Vincent have never lived together in their nearly 20 years of marriage. According to Cheryl, their relationship thrives because they’ve kept separate lives, both professionally and personally.
“You fall in love with someone, and you realize he’s not leaving his career in Philadelphia, and she’s not leaving Hollywood,” she explained. “He has his life; she has hers. He has his light to stand in; she has hers. And for us, this works perfectly.” Cheryl added that they see each other every two weeks, and this balance has helped their marriage flourish.
She acknowledged that their setup might have been difficult if they had children, but it works for their current lifestyle. Reflecting on her divorce, Cheryl shared a key lesson that’s helped her current marriage: addressing issues directly.
“I’ve learned to say, ‘Let’s talk about it.’ If you sit on problems, it leads to anxiety and depression, and all the joy in life dries up. I can’t have that—it messes with my good looks,” she joked.
Unsurprisingly, Cheryl’s non-traditional approach sparked debate online. Some criticized the arrangement, calling it “just a piece of paper and casual hookups,” while others argued that marriage should mean unity in every way. A few suggested that such an arrangement might hint at an open marriage.
On the flip side, many praised Cheryl and Vincent’s setup as innovative and refreshing. One supporter wrote, “This is the ideal marriage—two people living independent, fulfilling lives but coming together to make it even better.” Another pointed out, “The nuclear family model has warped how we view healthy relationships. People should do what works best for them.”
As Cheryl and Vincent prepare to celebrate 20 years together, their story challenges traditional views of marriage and highlights the importance of finding what works for you as a couple.
One person said,
“I love how they give each other space. Most couples today are so codependent that they wouldn’t even understand this. Good on Cheryl Lee Ralph and her husband for choosing the marriage model that works for them!”
Others joked about it too, with one person saying,
“I was thinking separate rooms for me and my future husband, but separate houses? She’s way ahead of me!”
A lot of people agreed, saying this is the only way they’d ever consider marriage. One person even added,
“Every podcast I listen to is talking about Cheryl Lee Ralph and her husband living apart, like it’s such a crazy idea. Meanwhile, I’m over here taking notes—this might actually be the secret!”
This has sparked a lot of conversation, even with relationship experts jumping in. Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching in Denver, pointed out that living separately can actually be a good thing. She explained that couples can create their own relationship dynamics, and this one has real perks.
For one, couples who live apart often have more exciting and passionate moments because when they do spend time together, it’s intense and full of energy. Plus, living separately allows both people to grow and pursue their own interests in ways they might not if they were constantly together. It creates space for both partners to live fuller, more independent lives.
At the end of the day, Cheryl and Vincent are doing what works for them. Despite living apart, they’ve kept their connection strong and are raising a blended family of four kids. So, it seems like it’s all good!
But I’m curious—what do you think about this arrangement? Is it a real marriage, or do you think it’s only on paper? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
