I feel so lucky to be married to Senator Vincent Hughes, who represents the Seventh Senatorial District of Philadelphia. What makes our relationship so special is that we’re both independent people with our own lives. He has his career, I have mine. He has his light to shine in, and I have mine. There’s no competition or focus on status—he does his thing, and I do mine.
Now, here’s the part that gets people talking: we live in separate homes. Can you imagine being married but living apart for almost 20 years? That’s our reality, and honestly, it’s been amazing for us.
“When I go see him, I’m so happy to see him,” Cheryl Lee Ralph shared. “And when it’s time to leave, I just say, ‘Bye-bye, see you soon!’ Life is good. Actually, it’s perfect. I get to be the best wife I can be.”
This arrangement has sparked a lot of opinions. Some think it’s brilliant—an arrangement that keeps the relationship fresh. Others, of course, assume it must mean something like an open marriage. But Cheryl has been clear: this is simply what works for them.
Here’s a little background: Cheryl met Vincent in 2005, four years after divorcing her first husband, Eric Maurice, with whom she shares two adult children, Etienne and Coco. At the time, Cheryl was starring in Thoroughly Modern Millie on Broadway, and Vincent, based in Philadelphia, swept her off her feet.
The two tied the knot on July 30, 2005, at the First African Methodist Episcopal Church in Los Angeles. They were madly in love, but neither wanted to give up their careers or the lives they’d built. So, they decided to stay true to themselves and simply make it work—separately.
When asked how they keep their relationship fresh, Cheryl’s response is always the same: “We don’t live together!” She laughs and adds, “Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I see him every two weeks, and every time, it feels new again.”
Their story is proof that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to marriage. It’s all about finding what works for you.
In December of last year, Cheryl caused a stir with her unconventional take on marriage when she told Extra, “I see him every two weeks. When I see him, I’m so happy to see him. And when I’m leaving, I’m so happy to leave because I know I’ll be back again.”
At first, fans were confused and wondered if she had finally moved in with her husband after 18 years of marriage. Cheryl quickly clarified, saying, “That’s not true at all. If you’re going to write something, at least get it right. We’ve been married 18 years and together for 21. We live together on and off because I’m filming Abbott Elementary in L.A., and he’s at the Capitol every week. So we see each other in between.”
“Is that my man? Am I booed up? Do we enjoy cuffing season? Yes!”
Since Vincent, a state senator, can’t leave Pennsylvania frequently due to his job, Cheryl makes the trip to be with him.
Cheryl also touched on her marriage during an appearance at Out magazine’s Out 100 event. When asked if their relationship could be considered long-distance, she responded:
“Oh, listen, my husband and I are very married. We’re celebrating 20 years next year. People always ask, ‘How does that work?’ I tell them, ‘Dolly Parton knows how it works. She’s been married for 50 years, and you’ve never seen her husband. Why? Because they plan on staying married. My husband and I, we’re on the same page. Our business is in the bedroom. Thank you.’”
Later, Cheryl opened up about her career journey with People. She recalled how she stumbled upon an audition that changed her life after trying to become a doctor and a lawyer. She also shared her experiences with weight loss and the pressures of unattainable beauty standards in the entertainment industry.
But it was her marriage that really grabbed attention. Cheryl spoke about how lucky she feels to be married to Senator Vincent Hughes, noting that they’ve never lived together during their nearly 20 years of marriage. In fact, she believes their relationship has flourished precisely because they’ve kept their individual lives—professionally and personally—separate.
She acknowledged that this arrangement might not work for couples with children but explained that it suits their lifestyles and careers.
She said, “You fall in love with someone, and you realize he’s not leaving his career or Philadelphia, and I’m not leaving Hollywood. He has his life; I have mine. He has his career, I have mine. He has his own spotlight, and I have mine. We’re not focused on each other’s status; we’re just doing our own thing. And it works for us.”
This arrangement—her in California, him in Philadelphia, and seeing each other every two weeks—has been successful. “We’ll celebrate 20 years of marriage—thank you! Some people can’t even get through two years, so it’s all good.”
While some fans criticized their dynamic, calling it “just a piece of paper” or “casual hookups,” others found it refreshing. One user even wrote, “The ideal marriage for me is two people living separate, fulfilling lives, but still coming together to maximize their joint slay.”
Cheryl believes open communication is key to their marriage’s success, a lesson she learned after her divorce. “I’ve learned to say, ‘Let’s talk about it.’ If you bottle up your issues, you end up anxious and stressed, and all the fun in life starts to fade. I can’t let that happen because it’ll mess with my good looks!”
Cheryl’s unique approach to marriage sparked a lot of conversation online, with both critics and supporters chiming in.
“The nuclear family model has really shaped how we view healthy relationships. If a couple in love realizes that living together isn’t right for them, they should do what works for them—whether that’s maintaining separate living spaces or something else.”
One person shared:
“I love how they give each other space. The average person in a relationship is so codependent that the idea of not living together would seem impossible. Kudos to Sheryl Lee Ralph and her husband for figuring out what works for them!”
Others joked about the idea, with one person saying:
“I was thinking separate rooms for me and my future husband, but separate houses? She’s taking it to a whole new level!”
Many agreed, saying this might be the only arrangement that would make them consider marriage. Another person added:
“Every podcast I listen to has been talking about Sheryl Lee Ralph and her husband living apart like it’s so crazy. Meanwhile, I’m here taking notes like, ‘Yes, I need to learn this!’”
This marriage has sparked a lot of conversations, even among talk show hosts and relationship experts. For instance, Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching, pointed out that living separately doesn’t have to be a negative thing. She explained that couples can create their own unique relationship dynamics.
She also mentioned that living apart can bring benefits like keeping the relationship exciting and passionate because the time they spend together tends to feel more special and fun. Plus, having space can allow each person to grow in ways they might not if they lived together, giving them room to pursue their own interests and live more independent lives.
At the end of the day, Cheryl and Vincent’s marriage is theirs to define. Despite living in separate homes, they’ve maintained a strong connection and are raising a blended family of four children.
So, it seems to be working just fine!
What are your thoughts on this unconventional arrangement? Do you think it’s a legitimate marriage, or do you feel they’re just married on paper? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments!
